Confrontations
by Moonchild707
Summary: One-shot. Bella goes to the old Cullen house to commit the ultimate act of selfishness. Takes place before the cliff diving incident. ExB fluff Rated M for violence, deals with suicide.


**Confrontations**

_**A/N: This idea came from a weird dream I had last night. My first fic ever so please be nice! WARNING: Contains suicidal thoughts. And New Moon spoilers. Rated M, but probably could pass for T. Takes place before the cliff-diving incident in New Moon. A bit OOC.**_

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BPOV

I looked around the room I was in. Memories came flooding back. Memories of hole in my chest ripped open again on it's own accord and I was tired of this. Tired of the pain. Tired of it all and I just wanted it to end. I walked over to the piano, tears welling up in my eyes. It looked exactly like I remembered, only with a thick layer of dust, and no pianist to accompany it. I sighed, picked up my bag, and walked up the stairs.

I got to my final destination. _His _room. I hesitated at the door, not knowing what I was going to find behind it. This was the first time I had set foot in the Cullen residence since they had left. Slowly, I opened the door and stepped inside. Being in this room hurt more than being anywhere else, but I needed to be here. Today was my last day to live, and I wanted to remember him as I died.

_*FLASHBACK*_

_I was walking around my empty house. Charlie was fishing, and I never hung out with Jake anymore. He had his gang friends now. I walked up to my bedroom and grabbed my schoolbag and pulled out a pad of paper. I wrote 4 letters. One for Charlie, one for Renee, one for Jake and one for Edward. They deserved a goodbye. _

_I ran downstairs, schoolbag in hand, to get what I needed. I grabbed the letters, the keys to my truck and Charlie's police gun. This would be so easy. I checked the gun to make sure it was loaded before I went over. I had failed at everything else. I didn't want to fail at dying too. I knew I had to do this today. Alice would probably see me soon, if she hadn't already. Oh well. By the time she got here, she would be too late. There would be no more Isabella Swan._

_I took one last good look at my house. I felt a slight pang of guilt as I drove away, knowing that I didn't say a proper goodbye to Charlie. This would probably break his heart. Knowing him, he would read his letter and track down and try to kill Edward. Not that he would get very far. People always told me that suicide was one of the most selfish things a person could do. Well, if he took himself away from me, then I would take myself away from him. Not that he will care. He broke my heart. He left me in the forest, broken and unloved. Well, maybe he'll be happier too without me here to burden him._

_*END FLASHBACK*_

I went over to the far wall, and sat on the floor. I opened my bag and took out the gun and letters. I had left my truck by the side of the road, hoping someone will find it, then find my body. Charlie and Renee would need their letters and some closure. I moved closer to the door and set the letters down in a line. I walked over to the abandoned stereo system and looked for a CD. I found the one I was looking for. It was a copy of my birthday CD with my lullaby and some other compositions. There was even Clair De Lune. I put it in the player and turned up the volume. As I listened, I let the memories overwhelm me. The first time I saw him. The first time I met his family. All the times he told me he loved me. The time he showed up, as an angel and saved my life in Phoenix. I even passed through memories of his family. I had loved all of them, and they left without even saying goodbye. Esme and Carlisle, my surrogate parents, Emmett, my big, teddy-bear brother, Alice, my sister and my best friend, Jasper, my calming brother and even Rosalie, my sister who hated me, even though I always loved her.

I realized that I had been daydreaming for a long time. It was 7:00. I knew when I wanted to die. I was waiting for twilight, Edward's favorite time of day. I looked out of his enormous glass window and knew that it was time. The sky was a perfect, flawless indigo colour. There were a few stars, and a full moon. Today had been one of the rare, sunny days in Forks, so there were no clouds to mar the view. I took a deep breath and walked over to the weapon that would end my life.

I picked it up slowly. It felt heavy in my hand and I noticed I was shaking. I held it to my head. So this is what it felt like before you died. Wow. I wasn't even scared. I looked out the window for the last time and started to pull the trigger. I heard a huge crash coming from downstairs. I paused for a moment, wondering what it was. I stood there, the gun to my head when Edward's bedroom door flew open. I looked over only to see a haggard, scared and hurt Edward Cullen standing in the doorway. He looked around for a brief second and then looked up at me.

I was so shocked, all I could do was stare. I must already be dead I thought. That crash I heard didn't come from downstairs. It came from the gun. Edward continued to stare, open-mouthed at me. If he could cry, I knew he would be 's when I realized, he really was here. Another crash resounded through the house and made me jump. He moved forward slowly, hands in front of him, trying to take the gun from my hands. I jerked away violently and he stopped dead in his tracks.

"Give me the gun please, Bella." he said

"No." That was all I could say.

"Bella please," he cried, "Don't do this. You deserve to live."

"I know that Edward. I don't want to live." I said plainly. I wasn't going to play games with him. I wanted this over.

He stared at me, not knowing what to say or do. I could see the hurt and confusion etched on his beautiful face. I could hear other voices coming from downstairs. I tried to decipher what they were saying, but I couldn't really hear them.

"Who else is here?" I asked coldly.

"Everyone. Please just put the gun down. Alice saw what you were going to do. I ran all day from South America to stop you. I was almost too late. Please just put it down!" he pleaded with me.

"Who's 'everyone' and why do they care? You all left me here alone. I was almost killed after you left, did you know that? Yeah. Victoria's buddy Laurent came back for me. He would have got me too if it wasn't for a pack of wolves that got to him first." I was crying now, but I still had the gun to my head. I was going to finish this once and for all. I just needed some answers first. He needed to know this.

"There's Carlisle, Esme, Emmett, Rose, Jasper, Alice and me. We all love you Bella. Please don't do this. We left to keep you safe. Please come downstairs and talk this out." He looked like he was about to break down into sobs.

"Well I'm very sorry to hear that you all wasted your time coming back here. I will not put down this gun and I will not walk down those stairs and face all the people I loved who left me. I am tired of this Edward." I was flat out sobbing now.

All of a sudden, I felt a wave of calm and peace hit me. _Jasper. _I thought bitterly. That was it. I was tired of these interferences. I would set him straight.

"STOP IT JASPER!" I screeched as loud as I could. The wave of calm and peace suddnely stopped and I realised I was livid. How dare they, these people, the cause of my depression come back and try to stop me from escaping my pain. They should have just left me alone.

Edward started to walk forwards, slowly. I backed up quickly and he stopped. He had his eyes on the gun. I knew he was thinking of the damage that vile weapon could do to a fragile human girl like me.

I was tired of playing games with him. Time to finish this.

"Don't you dare take another step." I hissed at him.

"Don't do this Bella. We never meant to hurt you. We'll take you with us if that's what you want. We love you Bella." he pleaded, trying to get the gun away from me.

"If you really love someone, you don't rip them apart from their family, their best friends and the love of their life, Edward." I scoffed at him. "I'm done playing this game with you. I would say I'm sorry, l but I'm not. Goodbye."

"NO!" he screamed.

I was a millisecond away from pulling the trigger when something big, hard and cold knocked me to the ground. The gun moved away from my head, and a shot rang out. I heard a high, blood-curdling shriek and a course of profanities come from downstairs. The gun was ripped from my hand and thrown across the room. I heard bangs and shouts coming from the living room. Edward had my hands pinned above my head as his body was racked with dry sobs. I tried to free myself from his grasp and failed miserably. He scooped me up off the floor and held me to his chest, dry sobbing.

"Don't you _ever _do something as stupid as that again Isabella Marie Swan. Never. Do you hear me?" He asked through his sobs. "I love you more than anything in this world and I could not stand to see you dead."

That's when I lost it. I burst into tears as he held me there. He said he loved me. Then he left. Then he came back and he still loves me. I just tried to kill myself in front of him, and he still loves me. I never stopped loving him, but I never hoped to have him love me again.

The door flew open to reveal Carlisle, Emmett and Jasper. They all stood there, completely shocked, staring at Edward holding me. Edward glanced over at his father and brothers and let me go.

"Go downstairs son." said Carlisle calmly. "Esme and Alice are hysterical because of the shot you fired."

Edward gave me one last glance as he walked out of the room. I suddenly felt very ashamed and foolish, standing there with three big men that probably thought I was psychotic. I glanced up at them, still sobbing. They all looked at me with concern, not knowing how to react. I was sobbing so hard now that it hurt to breathe. I didn't know what to say or do. I looked up at Jasper.

"I'm sorry I yelled at you." I said pathetically.

"Oh Bella." he sighed and came forward slowly. To my surprise, he stood me up, and engulfed me and a bone-breaking hug. I broke down all over again.

Jasper scooped me up and I looked at Emmett and Carlisle. I have never seen Emmett so grave and serious before in my life. Carlisle looked the same as always, calm and serene.

Jasper handed me to Emmett and we ran down the stairs at lightning speed. When we arrived in the living room, I was faced with Edward, Alice, Esme and Rosalie. Edward came forward, took me from Emmett and sat me on the floor opposite them. They all looked ashamed, happy and relieved, though they all looked shaken. We sat in silence for a moment, then Rosalie spoke up.

"Oh Bella. Why would you do something like this? I know I've never been particularly nice to you but Jesus Bella! You don't deserve to die." She said softly.

I looked up again and saw that Esme and Alice were shaking with sobs. Jasper looked pained, probably due to all the wild emotions in the room. I stood up and walked over to the other side of the room where all the Cullens were standing. They all watched me warily as I approached Rosalie.

"You were like a sister to me Rose," I said, still crying. "I know you never really liked me, but I still loved you. I thought that maybe, after a while, we might grow a little closer and maybe get along. But we never did."

I stepped to the side and faced Jasper. He looked at me sadly, not even attempting to calm me down.

"You were a big brother to me Jasper. I was always fascinated by you. You were always polite and kind to me and I loved you. I know you think you're a monster and that I'll hate you forever because of the birthday fiasco, but I could never hate you. You killed for me Jasper. I can never repay you for that. I've never told you this because I know how uncomfortable you are around human blood. I loved you like any sister would love her big brother."

I glanced at his face, and if he could cry, I knew he would be. Then I moved on, to Carlisle. He looked down at me calmly and sadly, knowing that I needed to say this.

"Carlisle, you were a father to me. You patched me up when my clumsiness got the best of me and I knew I could always trust you. You were my father in a way that Charlie could never be. I loved and trusted you Carlisle. It broke my heart to know that you left without even saying goodbye."

Next was Esme. This would be hard. I hated to see her caring face so upset. I turned to her and tried to say what I wanted to as nicely as I could.

"Esme, you were a mother to me in so many ways." My voice was breaking. "You cooked for me, even though you don't eat. You bought me a bed, even though you don't sleep. You are the maternal figure I was missing ever since I first met you. You showed me love and kindness that I never deserved." Great. I was sobbing again. "It hurts me so much to see you upset like this. You left me here alone, with no one but Charlie to talk to. I missed you every day that you were gone. I was devastated when you left."

I looked to the right of Esme and saw Emmett. He looked like he wanted to cry.

"Em, you were also a brother to me. You were like my big, scary-looking teddy bear. You killed for me too Emmett. I can never forget that. You liked me, even though your wife hated me. That shows strength. You could make me laughing with just one word. You were the older brother I never had. I loved you Emmett. Then you left. I felt like a little girl who had just lost her teddy bear. It broke me Em."

Emmett looked down in shame. I could tell he wanted to apologize, but I moved on too quickly for him to get a chance. Alice was next to him, still sobbing quietly.

"Alice, you were my best friend!" I yelled. She cringed away from the volume of my voice. "You were by best friend, and my sister. You up and left without even saying goodbye! I missed you everyday you were gone. No letters, no phone calls, no nothing. You could have been _dead _for all I knew. I loved you Alice."

I was sobbing again because it hurt to see Alice sobbing. I turned to the last person in the family. Edward. He was staring at me. I met his gaze with hurt, tortured eyes.

"I-" I started to say. I was on the verge of hyperventilating. I had no words to describe the pain I felt at seeing him again. I decided to try again. "You---you le-left me. After all the times y-you s-said y-you l-l-l-loved me! You l-l-left me in the f-f-forest a-a-alone and b-b-broken! HOW COULD YOU DO THAT!?" I screamed at him. I broke down and fell to my knees on the floor. I heard movement around me and I looked up to see Esme's caring face above me.

She scooped me up and pulled me into a gentle hug. She was still shaking slightly with sobs and her eyes were filled with tears she could never shed.

"I'm so sorry Bella." she said quietly.

I cried on her shoulder for what seemed like hours. When she finally let go, I went over and sat in the corner of the living room. The entire family was looking at me sadly. I stood up shakily.

I turned to face Alice who was standing closest to me. She looked at me sadly.

"Can you ever forgive me Bella?" she asked softly.

I took a good look at the pixie-like vampire standing in front of me. I felt horrible for inflicting this kind of pain on her. I slowly walked up to her and hugged her. She hugged me back happily. She seemed genuinely happy that I was still here and that I had forgiven her. I stood with her for a while before I felt myself tugged away from Alice. I turned around and saw Emmett standing sheepishly behind me, with his hand tugging the back of my shirt. I turned around, giggling and hugged him too. He apologized countless times before he finally let me go. Esme and Carlisle hugged me too, and after a while, Jasper and Rosalie came and gave me a quick, soft hug before returning to the other end of the room. I looked behind my newly reunited vampire family and there I saw Edward. He was sitting against the wall, a tortured, broken look in his eyes. He looked up sadly and met my gaze. He stood up carefully and looked at me and his family. He looked like he wanted to say something and was struggling with the right words.

"I..." he began. "I am so sorry Bella. I understand that you hate me. I am a monster who never deserved your love in the first place. I am vile and disgusting and I will never hurt you again. I a-"

I walked up to him angrily and put my hand over his mouth. He looked shocked.

"Never, ever say anything like that about yourself again Edward Cullen. Do you understand me?" I said angrily in a hurt voice.

I took my hand off his mouth and he stopped his self-destructive ranting. He just stared at me. I felt a single tear roll down my face, and I was surprised that there were any left in me. I had already cried for hours today. He put his hand to my face and wiped away the tear. I felt more sliding down to replace the one he's removed. I looked down at his shoes and examined them. Anything was better than meeting his hurt gaze. I felt a cold hand under my chin forcing me to look up. I looked at him and cried. I slowly and firmly wrapped my arms around his chiseled form and felt him hug me back.

"I missed you so much Edward." I cried desperately.

"I'm so sorry Bella." he said. "Will you forgive me?"

"Only if you promise that you will never, ever leave me like that again." I replied. "I nearly died to rid myself of the pain you caused. Please don't do that to me again."

He held my frail, shaking form closer to him.

"Never." he said.

I realized then that his family was still in the room watching us. I turned to look and saw Emmett snickering. When he caught my gaze, he let out an almighty guffaw, only to receive a smack in the head from both Alice and Rosalie. Rose smiled at me and then turned to scowl at her immature almost-100 year old husband. I giggled at turned back to Edward. He met my gaze, the hurt, tortured expression replaced by happiness and love. I suddenly felt an amplified wave of love and happiness. I turned to see Jasper smirking. He met my gaze and gave a conspicuous wink before he turned to Alice.

EPILOGUE:

That night, I slept at Edward's house. I was exhausted. I slept in his room, in Alice's bed which had been moved there for me. For the first time in a long while, I was completely, blissfully happy. I fell asleep in the arms of my own, personal angel, who was singing my lullaby. His face was the last thing I saw before falling into a deep, well-deserved slumber.

FIN

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_**A/N: I know. Cheesy ending but oh well. Please review with tips and constructive criticism. No flames please!**_

_**-Moonchild707 :D**_


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